Anything But the Wrestling Part 2

It looks like only Matey Dave and I are willing to keep this section limping along, albeit flying in different directions, so : CRICKET ANYONE? My good mate Brian East and myself strode out to the middle one fine Saturday morning, to open the Hazelwick school batting. In later years, in knockabout cricket games I'd jokingly answer the umpire's question of 'what would you like' referring to my guard with, 'slow, shoulder high please'. However, I was much too young to try that on an adult umpire and answered in a correct manor. However that was exactly what the bowler bowled me for the very first ball of the match and I gladly despatched it to the boundary for four runs. My batting partner and I then met in the middle of the pitch, for no reason other than that's what we'd seen real batsmen do on the idiot box. We just grinned at each other with a knowing 'this is going to be fun'. The bowler's second ball, was a blur out of his hand and straight as a dye. Completely taken aback, I did something I had never done before, or since. Instead of lifting the bat, stepping back and then attempting to block the ball, I stepped back first, then lifted the bat and heard the thwack of said bat discombobulating all three stumps and the bails, OUT, HIT WICKET! Egg on face, I trudged off, having been well and truly taken down a peg!

In another school match, I was playing at (very) silly mid-on, so I was lucky to witness the following. Our bowler bowled, the left handed batsman got an edge and the ball flew into the slips cordon. Our wicket-keeper stuck out a glove, but only succeeded in deflecting the ball sideways, our first slip, dived to his left, the second slipper did the same and the third slipper, slightly behind number two, dived to his right. The deflection off of the 'keeper's gloves sent the ball across first and second slips and it bypassed the third slipper's outstretched hand, however the ball did nestle quite fortuitously between HIS THIGHS! So, the wickie, stood stunned, while equally shocked, the slips cordon lay scattered, but then after what seemed like an age, those of us who had a good view of all that had occurred, realised the ball was still off the ground and still housed safely between our third slip's thighs and the shout went up. HOWZAAAAATTTT! The umpire to adjudicate was our cricket coach, who was also a traditionalist and as such was very, very annoyed that his team had unsportingly claimed an obviously fluke catch and was even more peeved (off) that he had to acknowledge that 'yes' the catch was legal and the batsman was 'OUT'.

So that was nice!